This blog will focus on answering questions about Queerplatonic relationships, Queerplatonic partners, and the aromantic spectrum. The contributors are a group of young adults who are also within the spectrum, have a partner, or simply understand the issues surrounding these topics. Please feel free to send an ask or submit a question.

(none of us are, or claim to be, experts. We are simply in the aromantic spectrum and want to contribute to the community)

 

Anonymous asked
I just asked my friend (a gay cis guy, romantic and sexual with men, asexual and aro with women) to be my QPP and he agreed but I'm worried he's not going to take it seriously. And I feel like because I'm a queer pomo girlfag I'm not going to be as good as his romantic relationships. Is there any way I can approach the subject with him?

Well, I can’t see too deeply into the situation from just a single paragraph, but if you talked about being in a QPP, you should be able to talk about what that means! If you feel uncertain, go ahead and sit down and talk to the person about it! If he shuts you down, or makes you feel as if it’s not important enough to examine, maybe that would be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

QPRs are JUST as important as normal relationships. Friendship is serious business! And since most people have friendships before they have relationships, you should be able to breach the matter in the same way as most friends breach serious conversations.

Make sure it’s a location you’re comfortable in - either online, or in a coffee shop, or in your bed with your phone, texting. The media doesn’t make it more or less serious; just make sure you’re both focused on the conversation! Write out what you’re worried about if that helps you. 

Remember - there are multiple forms of love! Even if he gets a romantic relationship, it doesn’t mean he will give up on you, but it helps to talk about what happens when that happens. Form boundaries. Talk about possible future. It might sound terrifying, but it’ll be better in the long run, so you know what to expect and what to do when you get there. Not knowing and trying to remain ignorant for the sake of feeling safe is eventually going to create more problems, so you always want to talk it out in advance.

That’s all I’ve got for now - good luck!

- Chekhov